Who are your friends, really?

From the very beginning of our childhood, when we are introduced into the realm of social life so to speak, we tend to identify with certain people. When we are first dropped off by our parents to school at the tender age of two-and-a-half or three years, once we stop feeling hysterical at the thought of leaving the security found with our parents, we tend to start forming groups of friends with kids who at first seem as lost as we are. Back then our  thought processes didn’t work on overdrive to identify and label who would be good for you as a friend and who would not. We just tend to move around with the kid or kids who tend to do the things that we also like to do and who doesn’t make you feel left out.

Some might not be so lucky even at their tender age in making friends. Children who are brought up cosseted and loved to the extent that they feel smothered, tend to isolate themselves from forming these important social ties at the beginning of their lives. Others who may be facing some sort of abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, tend to keep to themselves or based on the amount of aggressive behavior they show, tend to be left alone.

Once we start to  grow up, the trend with the girls seem to be on forming emotional and deep bonds with their friends. A best friend is a must for each girl and these best friends tend to want to spend a lot of time with each other. Going for sleep overs or talking on the phone endlessly on mundane topics seem to bring the girls closer to one another. But as with everything else distinctive between men and women, boys do not seem to see it important that they have a ‘best friend’ so to speak, but rather hang out out in groups of boys who of course love nothing better  than terrorizing the girls in class.

However, as we grow older, friendship becomes something a  bit more important. Guys too start to have someone close, whom they consider to be someone they can share stuff with, and girls of course take it to a level further. There is nothing hidden from your best pal, nothing you both can’t talk about, whether it be boy trouble or woes at home. Few of these friendships survive once they part ways on their journeys towards adulthood. Furthermore, it takes a lot of effort to invest in building and maintaining this sort of friendship over the years.

One factor that would definitely cause problems would be the changes that each go through during their adulthood. Experiences that each individual goes through shapes them up, and in the end, someone whom you have considered to be the closest person to you on this earth might not appeal to you in the same way anymore. The relationships that we enter into, marriage and family life in the end interfere as well. Someone with whom you might have considered to be the best of your friend might now just be someone you pass on the road and nod a hello at.

I too have had my share of ‘best friends’ so to speak and faced my fair share of disappointments with them throughout my life. Expecting them to understand me, when I have grown in so many ways and spending a lot of time away from them have taken a toll on our friendships. At moments where I feel a profound sense of loss on not having someone close to share the mundane gossipy details of life with, I remember something my dad always admonished us with. Friends they come and go, but family they always stay with you. And I guess I have realized the truth of that statement time and time again, when time and time again, family always triumphs over those acquaintances I made throughout my school life and keep on making in my professional life by always being there for me at my times of need, to hold my hand at my times of grief, with a word of encouragement or two before I even realize I am in need of one, and to share the joys of my life no matter how far and in between they might come.

We hypocritical women..

Whenever the question of why men love girl on girl action so much comes up, women tend to take the moral upper hand and sniff disdainfully to say that men being the pervert creatures they are, there is no stopping them. I too have wondered why men find it so enchanting, when women & men both agree apart from the gays and lesbians of course, that men on men action is a definite turn off.

However recently I have come to realize that in fact this might not be true. Being someone who is interested in various types of romantic fiction, I have come across a lot of erotic fiction that feature romance of the male on male variety or books of the theme ménage à trois (an arrangement where a married couple and a lover of one of them live together while sharing sexual relations). No matter how much I may love a good romance, I definitely don’t feel comfortable with the idea of a woman being shared by two men, no matter how advanced an age we may have traveled to. And I definitely can’t stand the idea of reading a gay romance, and don’t think this would change much in the years to come.

So, its to my surprise that I have found that girls dig men on men action! So comes the hypocritical part. When men make no secret of the fact that they are turned on by girl on girl action, women tend to find the idea ridiculous and claim that they can’t find any reason why it should be so appealing. But the truth of the matter is, more and more women these days who opt to read romantic fiction of the erotic genre where men have humongous male organs that can satisfy a woman or man 24/7, and where women are ready to try anything that could border between pleasure and pain, women are turned on by men on men action. One can read through book reviews to find out how ‘hot’ these books are deemed to be by female readers.

I guess when it all comes down to it, the truth of the matter is that men tend to be more graphical on what they want and need whereas women tend to require descriptions of the hows and whys and wheres and the emotional garbage that tends to go along with the sexual aspect of a novel or a movie. However, the undeniable truth is deep down inside, men and women are not all that different in this regard, no matter how much women may try to hide behind their shield of perpetual innocence in such matters.

Us ‘poverty’-stricken Maldivians

Us ‘poverty’-stricken Maldivians,
who bitch about the rising costs everyday,
but still find the means to buy a football jersey
worth Mrf. 500/- ..

Our fellow citizens who claim they barely get by,
and spend thousands of cash,
to tote the latest mobile phone,
fresh off the manufacturer’s rack,
& never seem to think twice about it ..

Us ‘poor’ Maldivians,
who claim to have no savings worth a dime,
but still find a way,
to be dressed in the latest fashion ..

A typical day at work for a government employee

07:59: Mad rush to sign in before the time is up.

08:15: Log-on to your computer > Log-on to Facebook > Stalk friends on Facebook > Log-on to MSN Messenger > See if anyone interesting is online > Check various emails > Browse through Haveeru or any other website of interest for a while

09:15 or so: Breakfast hour!! Call up your tea buddies at other offices > Plan on where to meet > Zoom out of the door before giving a heads up to the supervisor who himself/herself may not be around OR Gather with your tea buddies at work > Head out the door regardless of whether you are leaving a whole section man less behind

11:00 or so: Breeze back into the office reeking of cigarette smoke, roshi, mashuni and what not! No explanations required OR Head off to the bank or to handle some personal matter (mostly those who operate their own businesses)

12:00: Time for lunch. Everyone scrambles to head out of the door as fast as their legs can take them

13:00: Those who are faithful to their jobs make it back on time whilst the groupies who go out for lunch are still not back

13:30: Time to get some work done. Type some official correspondence while taking breaks in between to talk on the phone, or chat with someone who just buzzed you or look up the notifications received on Facebook.

14:15 or so: Yawn!! Lunch has made everyone a bit lazy and uninterested in work. Time to do more interesting things such as watch a movie or a new episode of a series that interests you. For everyone else there’s always YouTube!

15:30 Feels so much rejuvenated! But then again there’s not much time left to do anything else is there?

15:45: Start primping to go home. Take out your cosmetics ladies and start primping away.

15:59: Rushes to sign out and win the award for being the first one out of the door!

Whew! That was a hectic day wasn’t it!

The sad fate of our education system

It wasn’t that long ago when I myself was a student going from Iskandharu to Kalaafaanu to Aminiya and then finally CHSE. It was during those times that a lot of teachers from Sri Lanka worked in our schools and I am sure that most of the students owe a huge vote of thanks for those teachers who spent most of the year away from their family and loved ones in a foreign country trying their hardest to prepare a generation of Maldivians who would be able to take our country forward in its journey towards progress. It was a time when trained Maldivian teachers were few and far in between, and those that did graduate from various institutions as teachers were of better quality.

For reasons that remain unknown, which some say have something to do with the huge amounts of money that personnel dealing with the recruitment of foreign teachers can make on the side, teachers from Sri Lanka became a thing of the past and lo and behold their arrived the Indian teachers, most of them whom I have to say scores zilch in the quality of education that they can offer. I don’t mean to demean the work that these teachers carry out in our country, but apart from a very selective few most of these teachers have a much worse grasp of the English language than most of the students. No laughing matter I assure you. I still remember what our class had to go through when our Chemistry teacher left the country when I was doing my A’Levels during our final year. After days of no classes, they brought in an Indian teacher who was really clueless on how to deal with a bunch of students who would walk all over anyone if half the chance is given. And the most depressing factor was that no one could really understand the lessons that she was trying to convey to us, which led to Chemistry periods being a time where anyone could do as they pleased whilst she went on teaching to the white board. Students started complaining and at last the Ministry of Education decided to send her off to some island to teach secondary level students, which appalled me to no end when I realized that the unfortunate students in that school would have a very weak foundation of the subject, which in the end would cause a lot of distress to the students.

And how about the crop of teachers that are educated by our very own Faculty of Education? I mean them no disrespect but I have my share of nephews and nieces who need help in various subjects and I have seen the level to which our education system has fallen. Students do not really require a brain these days, they just pretty much have to learn by heart the series of passages and lessons that are outlined before the start of every semester or term exam. How will young minds ever learn the benefit of thinking, pondering and arriving at their own conclusions about various subject matter if the need never arises for them to put their brains to good use? Even a mathematics exam, which is supposed to make one do the dreaded task of thinking and analyzing is not as it should be. I have a friend who is a Mathematics teacher in one of the primary schools in Male’ and according to her students are so set in their ways that a mathematical equation or question that requires them to think out of the box causes unimaginable horrors even to fellow Mathematics teachers. I remember when I was such a student myself and feeling the joy of coming up with the answer of a ‘difficult’ question, i.e. something that the teacher had not spoon fed related to the subject matter at hand.

Furthermore, these students passing their GCE O’Level exams, barely scraping by are the ones who mostly choose to become teachers because teaching is the only profession that would enable them to earn a relatively good salary whilst working in their home island. How a teacher who herself has problems solving a simple simultaneous equation pass on that knowledge to her fellow students is just beyond me! I cringe at the thought of the quality of the educated professionals who would come to be in positions of power in our country in the near future. If the personnel responsible for hiring foreign teachers weren’t so money hungry in the first place, our students would have been getting the quality of education that they rightfully deserve rather than what we are left with today.