Fear..

Fear of rejection, pain and humiliation..
Fear of incompetence, failure and mortification..
Fear of letting go of the comfort zone that surrounds me..
Fear of venturing too far into the unknown..
consumes my thoughts day and night..
From which I receive no respite..
headlong I do try to face them…
unsuccessful though I may be..
but I gotta keep trying..
to sprout wings and fly..
beyond the foreseeable horizons..
to welcome the unknown..
With arms open wide.

Things I’m Hung Up On at the Moment

  • ¬†Breaking Benjamin’s album Phobia, especially the track Breathe. Its awesome.
  • One Tree Hill Season 3. I just want to smash my fist into Dan Scott’s face. Like a hundred and fifty times or so.
  • Blogging: this stuff is like an addiction where you just can’t seem to get enough.
  • Julie Garwood’s Murder List: though it doesn’t compare to Mercy my favorite book of all time by the author, there is a Buchanan in it; So YAY!!
  • Downloading Grey’s Anatomy Season 1; can’t wait to watch it.
  • Angra’s Bleeding Heart: that song has cool lyrics and a nice rhythm to it, if you are into a bit rockish and gloomish and moodish music. Haha!

Pssst… There Really Was a Wedding…. ;)

Contrary to what I said in my last blog post there was a wedding ceremony last night. It came up all of a sudden, an invitation from the wife of one of the half brothers of my dad.

No cute guys were at all present (all for the benefit of my sister who seems to be on a dry spell like for FOREVER); just kidding :P

Anyways the desert that I had was so delicious that it would make one whimper on the first morsel that you take into your mouth. It just like melts into your mouth with these cube choc bites. Yum YUM YUUUUMMM

No Weddings and a Funeral

Just came back from the funeral of a paternal grandfather of one of my oldest and dearest friends. They do tend to make you think about how short life is and how you never really acknowledge and appreciate what you have with you until its too late.

All these thoughts went racing through my mind as I watched different displays of emotion on the faces of relatives, friends and well-wishers who had gathered to say their last goodbyes to my friend’s grandpa. Sadly to say I have never even met him prior to this because he wasn’t living with my friend’s family so I never had the opportunity of meeting him.

Sadly for my friend’s family, its the third funeral that they have had for someone close to their family line. Her maternal grandfather had passed away only like two months or so ago, which was followed by the death of one of her uncles and then exactly 40 days later the death of her paternal grandfather.

I pray to Allah that their souls rest in peace and that He may bestow upon them His Mercy which is the greatest favor that He has granted upon us mankind.

So everyone out there, enjoy and appreciate what Almighty Allah has given and bestowed upon you before its too late. We are always so busy seeking for greater goods and greater pleasure on earth and we always tend to forget those who love us and whom we love. Spending some quality time with each and everyone you love would go a long way, since life is so short and you never know what is in store for you next.

Chaos…

 Chaos and utter discontentment race through me

Making me feel utterly miserable and thoroughly disgruntled

But to whom do I turn
with these strange feelings that course through me
how do I know whether they are for real
Or just the active ramblings of a bored mind
Its driving me crazy..
Bit by bit
Until I am ready to scream my head off
But nor would I do such a thing
Cos that would only reinforce the fact that I am crazy
to all who surround me