Where Did the Romance Go?

Hard as it is to accept the fact for some of us, there are those subtle and the not so subtle differences between the male and the female of a species that draws them together and in turn complements one another. One such difference between man and woman is the fact that while most women crave and want a bit of romance in their lives, men tend to be more physical in their wants and desires. However, as with everything else, the status quo seems to be slowly shifting, but even then the majority of the female population would agree that no matter how hard they might tell themselves otherwise, there exists that little ray of something that yearns for happy endings of the type that we see in movies and read about in books.

This post came into existence in my mind upon a question posed to me by a fellow twitter friend of mine the other night. He commented on the fact that since I am someone who reads a lot of romances (which I unapologetically do so), what would I think to be the most romantic thing a guy could ever do for me. Now this question coming from a man who used to secretly court his one and only by leaving flowers on her bike some odd 10-15 years back, to this date which she has no clue whatsoever that it indeed was him, struck some forgotten chord deep inside of me and got me thinking.

As soon as the question struck my brain, my thinking cells went into a bit of overdrive to come up with a suitable answer, not that I’m a perfectionist – its hardly that. It’s just that I was oddly surprised and moved just a little by the fact that a guy of all people would come out and ask such a question, something to this day which no other guy has ever asked me – which I believe would be the case with most of my fellow female friends, if I ever were to ask them the same thing.

So immediately to my mind came the response that I would love nothing better than to be taken out on a date, doesn’t matter where as long as the guy knows what I want and is not afraid of giving me what I want. I am not talking about the physical aspect of the date but rather the one where every other sense is fed, cosseted, petted and stroked to my heart’s desire. Now this can only be done if my date were to realize the type of person I am, what pleases me and what it is that makes me happy. I’m a simple girl at heart, though not when it comes to my gadgets mind you; apart from that I am someone who doesn’t require much to keep myself occupied and dare I say the word, happy?

But in essence what this question made me realize is the fact that, somewhere along the way, romance in its truest fashion had bid farewell on us and died a long time back. This is not to say that there aren’t those rare souls like the guy who posed the question, who continually thought up of ways to surprise and woo his wife time and yet again that just makes me smile inwardly at the mere thought of it all. But for the majority of us, and maybe because of the way society has evolved, romance and the heady feelings that goes along with a proper courtship is no more. Gone are the days when your significant other would turn up on your doorstep with a bunch of flowers, not because of some special occasion, but because you were on his mind. Never will we get back those days where the simple act of hand holding would suffice, where a warm smile from your partner would light up your inside and it was enough, way more than enough back then.

One reason why romance has died this death and left ‘cynical’ romance lovers like me mourning its death is the fact that everything in life has just become too darn physical. These days, most relationships begin at the point where two people sleep together, where physical intimacy is experienced prior to the emotional ones. Now, the girl if she doesn’t agree to having sex by the first date is labeled as someone who is too frigid for societal norms and most probably will find herself become a disappointed idealist who either would bow down and conform to what the current society dictates to be the norm or go in the exact opposite direction.

In the end, maybe romance as everything else we have lost is as precious and rare as the most expensive of diamonds. Maybe there are souls out there that dare romance their partners, woo them as they are deserved to be and give them some of the best memories that would be treasured for time to come and then some. For me, I think I would continue to skirt the edge of hope and mostly retreat back to that cave of mine where I refuse to be tempted by the thoughts of being romanced, because romance in my honest opinion is an aspect of life that has died a true and sure death a long time back and reviving it in its truest form is a cause better left alone.

This post is dedicated to the Twitter peep who posed the question, someone who inspires and encourages me to pursue my passion of writing and my love for the English language. I thank you from the deepest bottom of my heart for the continued support!

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4 thoughts on “Where Did the Romance Go?

  1. Just to revive and remember the good memories together by a hand written letter with lots of red hearts would be a way of romance that would be worth better than two bottles of perfumes bought from Lecute.

  2. Men nowadays have too much “choice,” with the advent of all the online dating sites and now the proliferation of porn. It killed the mystery that had guys go all out to discover. There is no discovery process anymore, too many of us are willing to provide it all (speed of light), even if others are pulling back. This should get the most cynical thinker award but all this accessibility has killed the hunger for the challenge. If you can get everything by sitting on the couch, where’s the motivation and fun (sort of speak).

    Our potential partners now get the reward before the fight.

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